Everyone has a story to tell, and I strongly believe that people cross our paths for a reason. I would never want to miss the opportunity to help someone at one of the most trying times of their lives. As a Realtor, I get to work with people transitioning from one phase of their lives to another….Sometimes joyfully and sometimes with a heavy heart. Read on…
A Time to Mourn...A Time to Dance*
What do the following descriptions have in common?
- Inability to concentrate
- Sense of betrayal
- Doubt and uncertainty
- ...and even relief
Whether due to divorce or death, being the survivor of a lost relationship can leave one with any and all of these feelings at one time or another. All of these are feelings that can be associated with grief so if you are going through a tumultuous time of loss….be gentle to yourself. Grief has no rules. Grief takes as long as it takes. Not everyone will respond the same way but rest assured, knowing that you WILL survive, even if at this very moment you may not even want to.
Healing from grief takes time and cannot be forced. Some of the following information may not be pertinent to TODAY, so give yourself time and visit this page often, when the words of advice might be of most meaning to you.
What is Grief?
Grief is the process of redefinition. Everyone’s story is different and everyone’s circumstances are their own. Yet with grief, the resounding question is “Who am I now?”
- Am I still the mother of 3 after my beloved child dies?
- My spouse has died. Am I still a husband? A wife?
- My soul mate has left me. Am I still Mrs., Miss or Ms.?
As different as grief is for everyone, one thing holds true for all…the loss of identity.
Experts tell us the healing comes in stages and the process takes time. But in my case, when it first happened, I was so lost I didn't even WANT to be found, let alone healed. What I didn’t realize at the time was that getting to that point would give me new purpose, as well as a feeling of accomplishment and being in control again. But I had to take care of the business first and unless you’ve been there/done that, or you have someone who knows what to do there to hold your hand through it, it’s hard to know where to begin. So with all the self-help writings out there, I will limit the following information to attempt to help you to GET THROUGH THE BUSINESS.
* A Time to Mourn, A Time to Dance, Help for the Losses in Life - Aid Association for Lutherans (AAL) 4321 N. Ballard Road - Appleton, WI 54919 By Margaret Metzgar, M.A., CMC
Contributor – Robert A. Neimeyer, Ph.D.